I'm Alive.

and well.

just a check-in.

Be back soon...

ps....

Girl Talk puts on a gawt damn good show. His blends/"mash-ups" are effen cray-cray. He's freakin' cray-cray himself! I must say that was prob. one of the most exciting and fun shows I have been to in a long time. (thanks CG)

I'm looking forward to my lover, Maxwell on Saturday. hahaha.

3 musical artists I want to see before I die or before they die:

1. Stevie Wonder
2. Prince
3. Maxwell



GOOD NIGHT.

I Miss Her

So...I was LPing for Womyn's Studies...(doing a unit on Voice and what being a Woman of Color means...) and I stumbled upon a woman who I grew up listening to...and looking up to....

I remember chillin' with my "homegirls" back in middle school and playing "Next Lifetime" over and over in one of the homegirl's bedroom....we would sing it with our eyes closed, head tilting side to side--- acting as if we were really feelin' Badu's soul. lol.

classic.




I always wondered how she had two cool brothas in her life, Dre and Common... and they let her go...or she let them go...or it was mutual.. or she's just cray-cray like that... that's always a mystery.


Next question for you all:

Which do you think was a better album:

A) Baduizm
B) Mama's Gun



I'd have to say that I slightly like Mama's Gun better... Although I love Baduizm... But for some reason, I can really play every single track through on Mama's Gun.... and really say, "ugggh... yeeeahh.." (as every track drops) haha.

off topic: Obama just knows how to break down complex issues in a way that everyone can understand and connect to.

Budget.

As much as I don't want to admit this... LIFE is about budgeting.

And in the midst of the financial crisis in this country and within this state, budgeting is the only thing we can do right now...

(Which, by the way, in my opinion, proves capitalism, the economic system that the US prides itself in since its inception, failed us...has been failing us...and has not been brought to "public attention" [aka gov't attn.] attention until the top 10% is feeling its claws)....

Crazy as this sounds, if one does not budget some time to do some budgeting, one will realize how crucial the conscious act of budgeting is! ha.

For the past months, I have been trying to budget. This is a difficult task, but is most definitely imperative in adult living!

I hate to see the end of the month. I hate to see the end of the month because I slowly see my monthly allowance deplete... My regular utility bills and rent take an early bite and I eat fairly well during the beginning-middle month...and then my hungry ass loan takes the biggest bite in the end of the month... I see how my meals begin to differ from the beginning of the month to good ol' PB & jelly sandwiches or tuna. Luckily I don't mind it, I actually dig the PB & Jelly...and tuna.... But I realized I really need to be much more mindful of my spending... Scraping off a few dollars here and there goes a long way...So I just need to be smarter... I even changed my calling plan just to save an extra $20. I really need to stick with grocery shopping and/or cooking throughout the weeks rather than going out to eat...

Which then brings me to another dimension of budgeting. But before I go there, I want to talk about something else real quick. ha.

This lifestyle, though I know others/most have it worse than I do, is what makes Obama appealing and the candidate of choice. His platform, his rhetoric, speaks to folks with this dilemma. How can one NOT gravitate towards his platform? At this point, in light of our economy, how can one NOT want change?

Ok...back to budgeting on a personal level.

Cooking is also another aspect of budgeting. I've got to budget that time to cook. Cooking indeed is cathartic (which, is also important for crazy ass workaholics like myself), but it does take time to clean and prepare food, wash dishes, etc. etc. Of course cooking is a lot healthier and cost efficient, but not as time efficient... But I guess I really have to budget time for that!

Health. So to maintain a healthy living, I need to budget time for running again. I have not been able to find a consistent schedule of running since school started. This is also crucial. But where can I fit running before the sun goes down? I stay after school to grade and LP...by the time I get home it's dark... I'm tired.. and if I want to cook... where on earth can I budget time?

Friends. I love my friends. I miss my friends. And one must budget time for that. I know I have not been so great at that for the past month. And one way I can spend time with friends is sharing a meal with them, which of course again is usually/always is going out to eat... Which again brings me back to my first dilemma of trying to cook... But if we're tired from working, going out to eat is the best option...

Budgeting, a necessity, but a challenge. Anyone have any tips?

The 'hustle': 1st month check-in

Damn.


It's been a month since the 1st day of school. It kicked my ass in many ways. I've been trying to figure out why this first month of teaching seemed more challenging than my other two years of teaching. I thought teaching was supposed to get "easier" by the 3rd year. Apparently I feel that I got worse...or something like that. I find myself lesson planning up until the bell rings... I find myself making copies during lunch...I find myself lesson planning to the end of lunch... I just find myself STRAIGHT HUSTLIN.

Day after day I've been reflecting why my days feel like I've been constantly trying to pull myself out of quicksand. Day after day I reflect upon why I feel like I'm not teaching to my potential. Day after day I reflect upon why it feels like "learning" is not happening in my classroom....Day after day I reflect upon what makes this first month different from my other "first month" the past two years.... and all I can come up with is that I friggin teach 4-5 different subjects. This is insane.

I start off my day with a 9th grade advisory class where I teach the adorable young "fresh out of middle school" students "the 'path' to a successful high school career." I feel like this is a crucial class because I've noticed that the 9th graders really do take in everything the teacher says as gold. I am ultra-conscious of "setting a good example" for these students... I am ultra-conscious of following through with my instructions and discipline...bc I do not want them to cont. high school thinking they can slack off. This class I really have to make sure I'm on point. Basically, I have a different "AD-ult" mind set with the 9th graders.


Then within the 5mins. passing period I have to switch my mindframe from 9th grade teacher mode to 10th grade Honors World History. This is where I now need to go from "life skills" mode to "critical problem-posing the world" mode. I defn. need to meet my students needs. They signed up for honors. They want to be challenged. They want to think critically about the world. And we do. And it's great.

Then within the 5mins. passing period, I switch to my "regular" World History class (x2), which of course I continue the "critical problem-posing the world" mode, but now I deal with apathy, lack of motivation, silence, blank-stares, and slight behavior problems. So I need to switch it up and throw in some 'disciplinarian' mode. grr.

Then lunch comes along. And now I'm preparing/lesson planning/making copies for my AP Gov't class and Women Studies class.

Then AP Govt begins right after lunch. Then I have to go from global to local...It's defn. exciting to teach AP Govt during the election season. It's just challenging to keep up with everyday politics in the elections... at the same time finding ways to integrate the elections to understanding the way government and politics work within the election framework. YES. it's cool to discuss the debates...to discuss the issues...to discuss the candidates... but how do I go about explaining/integrating media biases, the electoral college system, primary election system, why the bill failed in the house (structure of congress)... etc. etc....as we talk about the updates of the elections? sure it is defn. more exciting and relatively easier in the season, but at the same time, there is NO TIME. we can literally sit in the classroom and discuss our thoughts and analysis of the financial crisis, mortgage crisis, etc. etc. which can take the whole entire period.. BUT... WHERE IN THE WORLD WAS I ABLE TO FIT IN teaching the framework of governance in which all these topics fall under? EH. HUSTLIN. PLUS... they need to know this for their AP exam...

Then I have 5mins. to switch my mind set to WOMYN'S STUDIES mode. This of course is waaaaay different from any of the classes I teach. This is a deep/complex course. This is a course none of the hs students ever took or will ever take in their lives. Now I must be ultra gender sensitive... be able to discuss feminist issues.... deconstruct misogyny, sexism, objectification, etc. etc. ... I LOVE IT.. But i realized.... that it's challenging to be switching mindsets and roles over and over everyday...

I feel like my students are receiving the short-end of the stick this year. I will not give up though. (Sounds cheesy).... But I refuse to be defeated with my schedule. But at the same time, this is INSANE and no teacher should be teaching this many subjects.


I hope and believe that these next months will get better...and I will figure out to work with my schedule.. and not feel like these multiple persons....and sleep early.. or get a good night's rest.. I hope to feel one.... like all these subjects just work together seamlessly... But again, these subjects bring in different maturity and behavior levels... which will always offest things.. ahhh...

Happy 85th Birthday, INANG!

"Thanks for the balloons, CG!"--Inang


"Thanks for coming out, everyone!" --Inang


"Thanks for the flowers, Jane"--Inang



"BAM! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?? I'M 85!"--Inang


She was born in 1923. Think about everything that happened in the world, in this country, in this state, in this city, in this community, in this household, and in our life since 1923...She's experienced through it all!

I applaud Inang for everything she has experienced in her life so far... And I'm excited to share the upcoming years with her.

Based on observations, I think her secrets to a long life are:

A) A witty sense of humor & laughter
B) Compassion
C) Humility
D) Love
E) Generosity
F) Courage

And lastly (hope this makes sense).....

The ability to be PATIENT on cultivating the land (of all kinds, and in any type of weather), planting seeds, and watering the earth to bear fruit to feed the family for generations... (I mean this in every literal and figurative sense)....

On Marriage

-Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.


(Now that is how I imagine love and marriage to be...Kahlil Gibran knows whats up!)

Love so simple and wholesome.

Simplicity is often taken for granted and overlooked. But today I just witnessed and experienced one of the most beautiful and heartfelt weddings... And the best part of it all was: simplicity.

Every aspect of the wedding ceremony was just so peaceful and centered. To be able to smell the scent of the trees that served as the natural backdrop of the brides, to be able to hear the chirping of the birds that flew in the afternoon sky, to be able to see a squirrel crawl through the tree branches as the brides exchanged vows, to be able to listen to the soothing voice of the woman who married Dahlia and Ant, I could not help but be moved. With such an intimate amount of people, I definitely felt the love vibrations transcend from the couple and through us...

I loved how everything about the wedding was so unconventional but a true, honest, and raw reflection of the love Ant and Dahlia share for each other--from the songs selected for the aisle walk... even for Ant herself! It was not the traditional song brides use when they walk the aisle.... Each song was just pure old school soul songs. It was dope!! I enjoyed the poets that came in to share their piece. I enjoyed the transference of love by lighting each attendees' candle while Caldwell's "The Light" played in the background.

I loved how the reception was at the same location...and it felt like a community center... Which is central to livelihood... and central to the brides. But it was decorated so elegantly.. and again, so simple.

Lastly, everyone present had such a good energy. This was defn. a wedding to remember.

So here are some interesting facts about this wedding:

1. I sat right next to Karen Marley. My dumb ass didn't realize it and I introduced myself to her and and asked for her name. No wonder she chuckled a little bit when she said her first name. I still didn't get it. But now that I look back after learning who she was, I could see why she chuckled. I laugh at myself as I type this. But she is beautiful. I think her partner was the DJ of the party... another beautiful woman!

2. Bobby Brown attended the wedding as well. I stood right behind him at the cocktail line. I didn't want to act like a crazy fan. So I played it off like I did with Karen (but only this time I really did recognize Bobby Brown). Bobby (we are on a first name basis now since we did attend the same wedding and all... lol), is dating a woman who happens to be friends with Dahlia.

3. One of the founding moms of Kappa was at the wedding and made a dope slideshow. She works with Ant and Dahlia.

4. I'm really starting to dig soul/funk house music more and more...

and... i love how they gave out plant/flower seeds as parting gifts.. and i came up on SUNFLOWERS!!! yay! can't wait to grow them.... too bad i don't have a house. fack!