Sunday, September 21, 2008

Happy 85th Birthday, INANG!


"Thanks for the balloons, CG!"--Inang


"Thanks for coming out, everyone!" --Inang


"Thanks for the flowers, Jane"--Inang



"BAM! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?? I'M 85!"--Inang


She was born in 1923. Think about everything that happened in the world, in this country, in this state, in this city, in this community, in this household, and in our life since 1923...She's experienced through it all!

I applaud Inang for everything she has experienced in her life so far... And I'm excited to share the upcoming years with her.

Based on observations, I think her secrets to a long life are:

A) A witty sense of humor & laughter
B) Compassion
C) Humility
D) Love
E) Generosity
F) Courage

And lastly (hope this makes sense).....

The ability to be PATIENT on cultivating the land (of all kinds, and in any type of weather), planting seeds, and watering the earth to bear fruit to feed the family for generations... (I mean this in every literal and figurative sense)....

Sunday, September 14, 2008

On Marriage

-Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.


(Now that is how I imagine love and marriage to be...Kahlil Gibran knows whats up!)

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Love so simple and wholesome.
















Simplicity is often taken for granted and overlooked. But today I just witnessed and experienced one of the most beautiful and heartfelt weddings... And the best part of it all was: simplicity.

Every aspect of the wedding ceremony was just so peaceful and centered. To be able to smell the scent of the trees that served as the natural backdrop of the brides, to be able to hear the chirping of the birds that flew in the afternoon sky, to be able to see a squirrel crawl through the tree branches as the brides exchanged vows, to be able to listen to the soothing voice of the woman who married Dahlia and Ant, I could not help but be moved. With such an intimate amount of people, I definitely felt the love vibrations transcend from the couple and through us...

I loved how everything about the wedding was so unconventional but a true, honest, and raw reflection of the love Ant and Dahlia share for each other--from the songs selected for the aisle walk... even for Ant herself! It was not the traditional song brides use when they walk the aisle.... Each song was just pure old school soul songs. It was dope!! I enjoyed the poets that came in to share their piece. I enjoyed the transference of love by lighting each attendees' candle while Caldwell's "The Light" played in the background.

I loved how the reception was at the same location...and it felt like a community center... Which is central to livelihood... and central to the brides. But it was decorated so elegantly.. and again, so simple.

Lastly, everyone present had such a good energy. This was defn. a wedding to remember.

So here are some interesting facts about this wedding:

1. I sat right next to Karen Marley. My dumb ass didn't realize it and I introduced myself to her and and asked for her name. No wonder she chuckled a little bit when she said her first name. I still didn't get it. But now that I look back after learning who she was, I could see why she chuckled. I laugh at myself as I type this. But she is beautiful. I think her partner was the DJ of the party... another beautiful woman!

2. Bobby Brown attended the wedding as well. I stood right behind him at the cocktail line. I didn't want to act like a crazy fan. So I played it off like I did with Karen (but only this time I really did recognize Bobby Brown). Bobby (we are on a first name basis now since we did attend the same wedding and all... lol), is dating a woman who happens to be friends with Dahlia.

3. One of the founding moms of Kappa was at the wedding and made a dope slideshow. She works with Ant and Dahlia.

4. I'm really starting to dig soul/funk house music more and more...

and... i love how they gave out plant/flower seeds as parting gifts.. and i came up on SUNFLOWERS!!! yay! can't wait to grow them.... too bad i don't have a house. fack!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Students makin' ME cry!

Subject: World History

The journal entry question was:

"What type of gov't system do we have? Does it work? Why or why not?"

After a good 10minutes of my students passionately speaking about how they feel the gov't is unfair and that it's all "white rich people" representing them..... I asked a follow-up question:

"Why do you always blame white people? Why are they the first to blame why you're unsatisfied with the govt?"

Students' response:

"Because if you look at the TV, that's mostly what you see."

So I ask:

"Then how did that happen? Why is it always white people that you see?"

Then after a few minutes of back and forth discussion, a student raises her hand and says,

"Miss, the reason why we say white people all the time is because we're not racist or anything. It's just that if you look at the government, if you look at who's in the White House, if you look at who's in power in the US, it's mostly white people."

At that moment, I was blown away. Damn, she's good.

Then I asked, "Then how did this happen?"

Another student said:

"Miss, maybe bc they've always had it. Since history. Since when they came. I mean, look back during the early times of this country.... Who owned the slaves? Who owned the people of color? The whites."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we study history.

Class...DISMISSED!

Makin' Students Cry

Womyn's Studies Class: On Gender Politics

Objective: To provide a safe space for the ladies and young men to share their experiences in class.

Since the beginning of the class (last week), we covered the terms MISOGYNY AND OBJECTIFICATION (fully loaded terms). We analyzed music video, song lyrics, and ads. I realized many of the young ladies do not speak as much as the young men. This is of no surprise, since I find this common in all my classes. But what is interesting is that the young men are far beyond outnumbered in the class, yet still dominate the conversation in class.

Aware of this, I wanted to split the young men and ladies up for an activity. I had the young men go to one room (supervised by a male teacher) and the ladies stay with me.

The topic question for the students to discuss for the day was:

YOUNG MEN: What do you want the ladies to know or understand about you? (Can be personal &/or general).

LADIES: What do you want the young men to know or understand about you? (Particular to the general).

After all students actively wrote out their responses, I collected all the male responses and put it in one pile. I collected all the female responses and put it on another pile.

Then I set the ground rules:

"Young men, you are to take this pile anonymously written from the ladies and read each response. But as you read this, do not be on the defense. Read it with understanding and compassion. In order to do this, you must read it by trying to understand what the ladies are going through. They wrote from experience, so please honor that and be mindful of why they feel the way they do."

(Then I nominated a student whom I know will facilitate a discussion amongst his male classmates.)

"To the ladies: the same rules apply.... Be mindful of where the young men are coming from."

So I sent the young men off and the ladies stayed with me. We set up the classroom in a circle---to form more of an intimate discussion setting. (**side note: When I checked in with the males, they were all huddled by the marker board sitting on top of the desks and writing what looked like a "game plan." It was kind of cute--bc they looked all serious...But, I bring this up bc their set-up was totally different from ours..) I gave each of the ladies a response from the males and we read each one. The majority stated this:

"Not all guys are assholes. Some guys are really sweet. It's not fair that if you had a bad experience, you assume we are all like that."

We (the ladies and I), honored that.

Then something happened as we all started discussing what the males wrote... We got into our struggles as women... And we began to talk about our fears.... then all of a sudden, young ladies started to look away and cry... One STRONG WOMAN spoke up about something she experienced... and the next thing I know, half of the women were crying...Some ladies got up and ran out to the bathroom, and I was touched.

I was touched bc this young lady used her voice and for the first time spoke about her experience. I was touched bc the other ladies were crying either bc they experienced the same thing, or bc they empathized with her bc of the shared struggles we face as women.

I was touched bc this would not have happened if we did not separate the males and the females for this particular exercise. I was touched bc they finally felt safe to speak about deep issues...

I was touched bc I felt this strong sense of support for each other...And half don't even know each other..

I was touched bc that experience in class reemphasizes the importance of having a Womyn's Studies class. It reconfirms why providing a safe space for women (esp. young women in HS), to speak....

And to the young men, I heard they had a good discussion in their room. I heard some of them admitted to their faults...and were identifying (as they sorted through what each of the females wrote) the following: A) What women need/want. B)How a women should be treated.

..More on this tomorrow... I will have a follow-up discussion with them.....

Sunday, September 7, 2008

"Life is a gamble."

.....as the saying goes...

had a conversation with my dad regarding life insurance (yes, good ol' pops having an adult convo. with his 25-yr old daughter-lol). As he was breaking down the different types of life insurance (termed, real, whole), I could not help but conjure up slot machine/vegas-table images in my mind. After a good session with my dad, I realized that Life Insurance is like gambling--you're placing some type of bid on your future based upon probability and predictability, hoping (in an odd way in this context) to get the best outcome.

btw--Sunday was Grandparents' Day! Hope you all honored your grandparents! (How do I know this random info?) MY MOM TEXT ME! haha. she's funny. she even busted out the calendar to show me. Sure enough, it said, "Grandparents Day" for September 7, 2008.

Good night.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Back to the grind.

Summer has officially ended.

And I must say that Summer 2008 has been one of the most fulfilling summers I’ve had in such a long time. I think one of the main reasons why it has been the most fulfilling is because I came into this summer worried that I wouldn’t know what to do with myself! I mean, I wasn’t about to teach summer school, and I tried to take classes at a JC for pottery and Spanish, but the summer session overlapped with my high school’s schedule and my Japan trip, so I didn’t sign up for any classes. Folks still had their 8-5 shifts.. so I was a bit nervous initially…..

Luckily, this summer ended up being a summer of spontaneity. I loved how each day was unexpected, and I loved how I was able to spend it with people I care about and I met some really cool folks along the way. I also thought that I’d be in this drought of music, but this summer was also a summer of music madness sharing (well, folks hooked me up with music from all kinds of genres…….and I didn’t have anything they wouldn’t have-lol). Nonetheless, folks were happy to share their music because music is meant to be shared and listened to anyway!


Highlights of the summer:

1. Japan Trip
2. Bay Area trip (last week of August)
A) time with Liza & DJ Undfine
B) Sat in on Ate Allyson Tintiangco Cubales’ Fil-Am Literature class
C) Ran into an old high school friend whom I haven’t seen since he graduated in 1998 at Poleng
D) Enjoyed the sun at “Doin It at the Park” in Golden Gate Park while drinkin’ REAL Sangria
E) Ran through Golden Gate and had my ass kicked by the homie, Matt.
F) Spent time with my close homegirls
3. Random LA shows---especially the one on top of a rooftop in downtown LA
4. GLOW in Santa Monica with my girls(I dig the concept of chillin’ on the beach while listening to music)
5. Riding my bike around by myself.
6. Red Mango---the best yogurt!
7. Running the Ptown 5k/running in general.
8. Attending Ant’s bachelorette party
9. Attending my cousin’s cousin wedding and reconnecting with my cousins and cool Canadians (esp. my bfff) from my last trip there in ’98 (?)
10. Picking up a cool guest-roommate.
11. Celebrating summer bdays
12. Attending the live taping of ABDC—Janet Jackson challenge
13. Caring the soul….introspective space and time….reflecting constantly…. And finally felt a new sense of liberation.


So in light of all this reflection and introspective summer, I must say that I am blessed, and I am truly grateful to be surrounded by genuinely good people.